So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
