have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
