my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
