She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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