So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
