Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
