Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
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I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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