I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
