I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
