I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
