At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
