Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
