Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
