your parents love me but you hate me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have fence marks all over my body
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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