Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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