come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize