Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
