it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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