Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
