I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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