if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
