maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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