Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
