I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
