tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
