Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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