We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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