I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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