toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
farters have to be the big spoon...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
