And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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