You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
