the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
