The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize