Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
