Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
