I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
