There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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