she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
