It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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