You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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