it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize