do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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