So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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