he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
