Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
