I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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