i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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