Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
