dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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