im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
