he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
