HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
