I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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