your parents love me but you hate me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
True college students do jello shots in the library
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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