she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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