in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
