and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
