you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
