it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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