I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
