Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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