the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
