When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize