just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My life is pants optional.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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