were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
