The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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