sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
