I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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